
ds#1:  Can I have 
the giant chalkboard out of the basement to 
do math problems on?
me:    Yep.  Go get it, it's yours.
ds#2  Oh, that's REAL nice.  All we need around here 
      now is a couple of pocket protectors.
ds#1:  I could totally use a couple of pocket protectors!
----------------------------------------------------

me:  Oh my gosh, 
has my nose always been this big??
dd:  Pretty much.
ds#2: Yeah, mom, you've got a pretty big schnozz.
me:  Well.  It's a good thing I didn't realize this in
     junior high.  It might have made me insecure.  Can
     I tell people I broke it in a bar fight?
ds#2  Have you ever been in a bar fight?
me:  I can neither confirm nor deny my participation 
     in any bar fights at this time.
ds#2:  That's what I thought . . .
______________________________________________

caller:  I have this 
         baseball card from 1967 signed
         by Babe Ruth.  Is that something you all 
         would be interested in buying?
me:      Umm, no, no thank you. 
Babe Ruth actually died in 1948--you do the math.
You won't even need a giant chalkboard!